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Writer's pictureRoseanne Rainbow

Coping This Christmas

Are you worried about coping with your emotions this Christmas?



If you are missing someone this Christmas whether that be a loved one far away, someone no longer with you or absent family's due to strained relationships, below are some suggestions on how to help you cope this Christmas


Top 5 Things

  1. Limit social media browsing

  2. Do what feels right for you

  3. Be kind to yourself

  4. Allow time for selfcare

  5. Set clear healthy boundaries


Social media is always full of 'happy' photos however it's also only telling half a story!

No one knows the truth behind the photo, no one knows what's beneath the smile!


If you are alone or with your household

  • Set ground rules about things like Christmas music, TV and games, you may find it too hard to face the normal Christmas things and that's okay

  • Perhaps make your favourite meal instead of a Christmas dinner

  • Plan the day with you and your needs as the main focus

  • Allocate lots of self care time and use the time to do all those lovely little me time tasks you don't normally have time to do (See my other blog: Self Care Challenge for ideas)


If you have plans with other people

  • Tell them in advance you don't know how you may feel on the day so they understand

  • Give clear instructions to anyone around you about how they can support you

  • Create a safe space, where you can go and be alone to process your thoughts and feelings

  • Use a safe word to let people know you are going take some time to yourself

  • Know it's okay to change your mind and your plans at any time


What is a safe space

  • A place somewhere in the house/venue where you can go and be alone, undisturbed and feel comfortable processing your thoughts and feelings

  • It can be anywhere, most people prefer somewhere you can close the door to help create a barrier

  • It maybe handy to have a drink, some tissues and perhaps headphones with device or a notepad with pen in your safe place ready for you


What is a safe word

  • A safe word is any word you feel comfortable using to indicate you need space

  • Make sure those around you understand the safe word and be clear with your boundaries so people know what you need and expect from them

  • Using a safe word can be easier to do when in a emotional state and quicker for people to understand your needs which ensures your space is respected



Grieving this Christmas

If you are struggling with the loss of a loved one, Christmas can be especially difficult. Remember it's okay to be sad, you don't have to hide your feelings!


You may find that writing a letter to the person you are missing helpful. You could use a set notepad and write to them as often as you like or your could do it as a one off. This is an ideal opportunity to express some of your feelings and it can be very comforting


Alternatively you could use voice noting or journaling as a way to process your thoughts. It doesn't have to make sense or be readable, the idea is simply to express what you are thinking by saying it out loud or by writing it down. This can be very helpful as it allows things to be processed rather than hidden away and it can help clear your mind


Be kind to yourself at all times, use kind words when speaking to yourself and ensure you give yourself a bit of extra TLC


Struggling with strained relationships this Christmas

If you have challenging relationships or perhaps you have broken free of toxic relationships, Christmas can be a time full of mixed emotions which can be hard to process. Remember it's okay to feel however you feel!


You may experience a range of emotions from sadness, anger and happiness. All of these emotions are normal and it's really okay!

It's important to limit social media usage and avoid seeking out their profiles because this will cause yourself additional unnecessary upset


Whatever you feel it's important to let it out in a healthy way. If you feel anger then shout, scream and let it all out (some where safe and away from others). If you feel sadness then allow yourself to cry


You could use voice noting or journaling as a way to process your thoughts. It doesn't have to make sense or be readable, the idea is simply to express what you are thinking by saying it out loud or by writing it down. This can be very helpful as it allows things to be processed rather than hidden away and it can help clear your mind



If it's your first Christmas without someone it can be extremely hard. There are no rules or time frames when it comes to grieving just remember to be kind to yourself, do what feels right for you and know it's okay to say no!


However you feel this Christmas is really okay


All feelings are valid, normal and have their place




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