That famous old saying 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words/names will never hurt me' is extremely wrong!
Have you ever consider how the words and the manner you speak to your children impact them?
Often when shouted at, a child will completely shut down and not hear a single word you say.
So who are you shouting for?
Your child isn't listening anyway so is there a need to shout?
Are you shouting because it's what you need?
Perhaps you were raised in a home in which shouting was normal, maybe you needed to shout to be heard and whilst this was normal at the time, now there is a choice.
You can choose to address your children in another manner!
When triggered by your child you may notice yourself naturally responding in the only way you know, the way that's normal for you, the way your parents raised you!
Perhaps the frustration, the anger and the fed up feeling boils up inside and just comes out but what effect is this having on your children? What effect did it have on you?
By dealing with your triggers at the root cause you can stop generational trauma
It's important to note that there's no such thing as a perfect parent!!!!! But there are parents doing their very best!!!
Often as a result of your own unresolved childhood trauma you will raise your children in a way that you know, not necessarily in a way that's best for them!
If you weren't shown love, how would you know how to give love?
If you weren't treated with respect how would you know to offer respect to your children?
If you are parenting in a way that isn't necessarily what you want for your children, you can change!
Often it starts by connecting with your inner child, offering them the love they once needed but perhaps didn't always get, then addressing your triggers at the root and then setting up new healthy foundations for your life which changes your parenting!
So the next time you notice that trigger, that feeling inside which feels uncontrollable, perhaps familiar yet the same feeling that leads to behaviour you don't want - PAUSE, it's okay to pause before you address the child.
Pause, take a moment to just breathe, perhaps close your eyes as you take a few slow breaths (you can even step outside the room if you need to, and safe to do so)
Then address your child
You may find that pause was just what you needed to acknowledge the trigger, prevent the old style response and help you gain better control
Every time you speak to a child you are feeding their mind, their emotions and their outlook on life
Imagine planting a seed, for a plant you want to thrive. What would you do to ensure it grows well?
Naturally you would offer it all the nutrients, care and support it needed - children are just like seeds!
Head to my website to find out more about how I can help you or perhaps book your consultation call👇
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